The tradition of tossing the bouquet originates from around the 14th century where guests of a wedding would commonly rip a brides garments apart to take home keepsakes, which were considered to bring them good luck. They were considered lucky as getting married was the destiny of most women and considered as one of their most important goals to achieve in life, second only to producing heirs. The guests would have no qualms about the safety of the bride and openly attack her in order to get a precious memento. As no bride would appreciate having their dress torn to shreds or risk being attacked, brides began tossing other personal possessions such as their garter, stockings and bouquet in lieu of having their dress ripped apart.
Today there is a growing trend for brides to eschew the tradition of the bouquet toss but I think that the toss is a great wedding activity that provides entertainment for guests and works well as a finishing touch to a wedding reception just before the bride and groom depart, along with the garter toss. It can especially be entertaining watching your guests pretending not to care about the toss but then turn into maniacs in their attempts to be the lucky girl to catch the bouquet!
Considering the nature of the bouquet toss is all about single women and marriage, bouquet tossing songs should be upbeat, empowering and all about women. It should be about strong women but also involves femininity. It can also be about finding love or about men. Upbeat songs will help to motivate the guests at a wedding to get up for the toss. The more women who get up the better as there are some women who find the toss a little embarrassing as the guest is openly declaring their relationship status. There are a lot of great songs choices out there to get all the women on the dance floor and to create great memories for wedding videos.
When deciding on a song thing of songs that you would love to dance or sing with your girlfriends to. It should be a song that women can relate to and that has to do with women getting what they want.
Tongue in Cheek
As the bouquet toss is all about finding out who will be the next girl to get married you could consider tongue in cheek songs such as Independent Women by Destiny’s Child as a mockery of what the toss signifies. This will be funny and entertaining for your guests. Other tongue in cheek songs that can be considered are Diamonds are a Girls Best Friend by Marilyn Munroe, to make a joke about the fact that all women want from marriage is a diamond or something along similar lines such as Material Girl by Madonna. You could also consider the Rocky Theme to poke fun at the fact that the women are going to be fighting for the bouquet.
Songs about getting married
A modern song that works great with the bouquet toss is Beyonce’s Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It). From calling “All the single ladies” to the dance floor and having the toss set against the lyrics of “If you like it then you should have put a ring on it, don’t be made cause you see that he want it” helps to create the perfect mood for the tradition of finding out who is going to get married next!
Another great idea for a modern wedding bouquet toss is the Sex and the City Theme, especially the movie version of the theme, as this sounds more big band. This theme works so well as Sex and the City is all about the single girl trying to find love which epitomises what the bouquet toss is all about. Other great songs about getting married or rather getting a guy to marry a girl is Wishin and Hopin by Ani DiFranco from the My Best Friends Wedding movie soundtrack which works wonderfully with the lyrics “So if you’re thinking how great true love is.All you gotta do is hold him, and kiss him, and squeeze him, and love him.Yeah, just do it!And after you do, you will be his”.
Other songs that work well are Chapel of Love by the Dixie Cups and Today I Met the Boy I am Going to Marry I by Darelene Love which works perfectly considering that tradition goes that the person who catches the garter is the person the bouquet catcher is supposed to marry.
Songs about women
Upbeat female empowering songs will work wonderfully with a bouquet toss. Think along the lines of Man I Feel Like a Womanby Shania Twain or one of the most popular choices Girls Just Wanna Have Funby Cyndi Lauper
The lyrics to this song work really well with the bouquet toss and should be considered by a bride if she is having a modern wedding.
Also consider songs about what the girls will be doing i.e Jump Around by House of Pain. This will surely motivate the girls to reach high for the bouquet.
Really out there
The song “A Woman’s Touch” by Doris Day which features in the film Calamity Jane is a very unique idea. The song describes how a woman can improve things. This song is very retro and if you are a feminist you should definitely not consider this song by it will definitely be remembered by guests and can be quite entertaining.
For a full list of Bouquet Toss Songs see below:
All That She Wants Ace of Base
Another One Bites the Dust Queen
At Last Ella Fitzgerald
A Woman’s Touch Doris Day (Calamity Jane)
Baby Got Back Sir Mix a Lot
Barbie Girl Aqua
Beautiful Girls Sean Kingston
Big SpenderShirley Bassey
Bootylicious Destiny’s Child
Can’t Hold us DownChristina Aguilera
Candy ManChristin Aguilera
Chapel of Love Dixie Cups
Diamond’s are a Girl’s Best Friend Marilyn Munroe
Don’t Cha Pussycat Dolls
Eye of the Tiger Survivor
FeverMadonna/ Michael Buble
Girl Fight Brook Valentine
Girls Girls Girls Motley Crue
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun Cyndi Lauper
Hit Me with Your Best ShotPat Benatar
Hot Sutff Donna Summer
I Feel Pretty Julie Andrews
I’m So Excited Pointer Sisters
Its Getting Hot in Here Nelly
Its Raining Men Weather Girls
I Will Survive Gloria Gaynor
I’m Every Woman Whitney Houston
I’m Too Sexy Right Said Fred
Jump Around House of Pain
Jumpin Jumpin Destiny’s child
Just a Girl No Doubt
Ladies Night Kool and the Gang
Lady Marmalade Moulin Rouge Soundtrack
Lets Get Loud Jennifer Lopez
Like A Virgin Madonna
Love is a Battlefield Pat Benetar
Love is in the Air John Paul Young
Man I Feel Like a Woman Shania Twain
Material Girl Madonna
Miss Independent Kelly Clarkson
Mission Impossible Theme
Most Girls Pink
My Girl The Temptations
One Way or Another Blondie
Pretty Woman Roy Orbison
Pretty Young Thing Michael Jackson
Respect Aretha Franklin
Rocky Theme Rocky Soundtrack
Sex and the City Theme Sex and the City Soundtrack
She’s A Lady Tom Jones
Shoop Shoop Song Cher
Sisters Are Doing It Eurythmics
Single White Female Chely Wright
SuperFreak Rick James
Someday my Prince Will Come Miles Davis/ Disney
These Boots are Made for Walking Nancy Sinatra
Today I met the Boy I am Going to Marry Darlene Love
This One is for the Girls Martina McBride
Uptown GirlBilly Joel/ Westlife
Wannabe Spice Girls
What A Girl WantsChristina Aguilera
Where My Girls At 702
White Wedding Billy Idol
Who Let the Dogs Out Baha Men
Wild Women Do Natalie Cole
Wishin’ and Hopin Dusty Springfield
You Cant Hurry Love Supremes
Brides Tips:
- Make a smaller Toss Bouquet – Brides, get your florist to make a smaller version of your bouquet for the tossing ceremony, that way you do not have to give away your bouquet to a guest.
- Don’t single out the “Single ladies” - Invite all women (even the married ones) at your wedding to participate in the toss to save the embarrassment of your single guests who might be uncomfortable
- Join the Garter Throwing and Bouquet ceremonies together by having the man that caught the garter place it on the woman who caught the bouquet
- Give the bouquet as a gift – Instead of tossing the bouquet consider giving it as a gift to the couple at your wedding who has been married for the longest time.
source of pic: valentinedesigns.com
1. Baby crying at the church
I understand that babies are hard to control but there is a cardinal rule for all guests and that is if your baby cries take the child outside. Forget your selfish need to watch the ceremony and consider the bride and groom. At this wedding the nephew of the groom started to wail right at the commencement of the vows. It was very distracting and you could barely hear the bride and groom and the priest over the child’s crying. The faux pas was committed by the mother of the child and sister of the groom who rather than remove the child, stayed to watch the vows. Understandably she wanted to see her brother get married but the child almost ruined the moment. The mother did not leave until a good three minutes of the child constantly wailing. Not only did this affect the couple and the guests it will also affect the quality of the couples wedding video as the child was right at the front of the church next to the videographer. This is a faux pas as the mother, by not removing the child until it was settled, has affected the bride and groom at the most important part of the ceremony.
2. A guest tried to upstage the bride
Perhaps there is a theme here but again, the sister of the groom and wore an outfit that was similar to and almost upstaged the bride. The sister choose a white and silver beaded gown and decided to match the gown with a small silver fascinator. Fascinators are a small gauze veil that cover a part of the face secured by a hair piece, which in this case was a flower in the lady’s hair. The problem with this is that guest looked like a bride. There is no reason for the guest to have worn a small veil. Yes she was an important guest but this decision was a big faux pas. On top of this, the lines of beading on the sister’s dress was strikingly familiar to that of the bride who also had lines of beading throughout her dress. Although i do not think there was malicious intent on behalf of the guest she should have known better than to have worn a veil, however small to a wedding. After finding out that this guest herself was already married and had a very small wedding it might seem like she was trying to shine on her brothers day. But this is a mistake. She could have simply placed a flower but a flower with a short small veil attached was inappropriate and a big faux pas. What makes it even worse is that small veils and fascinators are now days increasingly being worn by brides. Please consider this if you are a guest to a wedding and are considering a similar style. The sister should have thought of her own day and how special she felt in her veil and how it was her new sister-in-laws turn to shine and not hers.
3. Standing up at reception before bride and groom enter.
As I have said before, a wedding is all about the Bride and Groom, not the other people in the bridal party. At this wedding, upon the entry of the bridesmaids and groomsmen guests were already standing and applauding their entry. This is a faux pas as guests are only to stand once the Bride and Groom enter as a mark of respect for the special couple. By standing for the entry of other members of the bridal party you take away from the importance of the bride and groom. To avoid this at your wedding ask your MC to ask your guests to remain seated until the bride and groom enter.
Tips
- If a baby cries take it out of the church. If its your wedding and therefore a guests baby who might cry ask all guests beforehand who are taking a baby to your church that they remove them if they cry. If you feel uncomfortable doing this, have a designated church attendant to go up to babies that cry and ask for them to be removed. If you still feel this is a little rude, perhaps have a designated quiet room with a supervisor where guests can leave their babies for the ceremony. Most churches have quiet rooms available.
- Don’t try to upstage the bride. Think about how special you felt or will feel on your day as the guest of honour. Think about how you would feel if someone else wore a veil on your day. On this basis, dress appropriately. Do not wear white and do not wear fascinators!
- Only stand at the reception for the bride and groom – Make the guests of honour feel special
Source of pic: google images